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Tarkus
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 12/12/2005 7:43:47 AM Senior Moments Do y'all ever get these symptoms???? I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. --- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." --- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. --- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it? --- I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. --- A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97 Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!" --- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week." ---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. --- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. ---I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it. ---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging. ---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker. ---The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first. ---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." ---I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty." ---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches. ---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.! --- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. - --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference |
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Vivienne_
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 12/12/2005 5:12:06 PM "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." --Leo Buscaglia Vivienne Free Woman Fortress of Saphronicus |
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LadyNikita
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 12/19/2005 10:43:41 AM Prayer for Peace 'I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you. Let us work together for unity and love.' -Mahatma Gandhi- |
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Vivienne_
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 12/27/2005 2:05:55 PM "See, the human mind is kind of like . . . a pinata. When it breaks open,there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the pinata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience." -- Jane Wagner This one made me crack up... lol Vivienne Free Woman Fortress of Saphronicus |
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LadyNikita
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 12/29/2005 1:05:11 PM "The draft is white people sending black people to fight yellow people to protect the country they stole from the red people." -"Hair" |
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Jaaka Giha
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/2/2006 12:40:51 AM The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments. - William H. Borah In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. - Andre Maurois We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. - Nick Faldo You live and learn. At any rate, you live. - Douglas Adams The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. - James Baldwin |
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Jaaka Giha
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/10/2006 4:34:21 AM Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln |
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LadyNikita
Quote | Reply | This message was updated on 1/10/2006 10:27:57 PM by LadyNikita |
Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/10/2006 10:27:10 PM Conversation was never begun at once, nor in a hurried manner. No one was quick with a question, no matter how important, and no one was pressed for an answer. A pause, giving time for thought was the truly courteous way of beginning and conducting a conversation. Silence was meaningful with the Lakota, and his granting a space of silence to the speechmaker and his own moment of silence before talking was done in the practice of true politeness and regard for the rule that "thought comes before speech". (Luther Standing Bear.) The Great Spirit is in all things; he is in the air we breathe. The Great Spirit is our Father, but the Earth is our Mother. She nourishes us; that which we put into the ground she returns to us. (Big Thunder - Algonquin.) The Earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it. You might as well expect the rivers to run backwards as that any man who was born a free man should be contented when penned up and denied liberty to go where he pleases. (Chief Joseph - Nez Perce.) |
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Jaaka Giha
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/17/2006 7:49:39 AM *yawn* totd: it's raining here, and i'm sleepy still wishing i were abed, and bored as fuk. -end of bulletin- lol |
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Jaaka Giha
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/17/2006 7:52:48 AM The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole Politics is made up largely of irrelevancies. - Dalton Camp Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen. - Martin Mull Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. - Erma Bombeck |
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XxXMIDXxX
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/18/2006 3:58:39 AM Be Formless, shapeless like water. Now if you put water into a cup it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle, you put it into a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash, be water my friend. bruce lee. If there is a God, he is within. You don't ask God to give you things, you depend on God for your inner theme. |
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Riddick
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/18/2006 12:26:28 PM The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities...It is best to win without fighting. Sun-Tzu Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Albert Einstein Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein Don't be a fool and die for your country. Let the other son of a bitch die for his. General George S. Patton I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies. Aristotle |
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Vivienne_
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/18/2006 4:50:08 PM When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound. Rebuild those plans and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill Vivienne_ Free Woman Fortress of Saphronicus |
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XxXMIDXxX
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 1/21/2006 3:09:39 AM "Heaven has appointed me to rule all the nations, for hitherto there has been no order upon the steppes." -CHINGIS KHAN |
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Jaaka Giha
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Thought of the Day....
replied on: 2/2/2006 6:31:21 PM Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. - Robert Anthony Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. - Ken Hakuta If you cannot convince them, confuse them. - Harry S Truman Never judge a book by its movie. - JW Eagan |
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