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| Author | Message / Information |
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peakyblinder
old hand Rank: Chinny |
Birmingham City Council is shit
replied on: 1/21/2004 11:41:00 PM quote: I'm a fat white disabled Brummie Muslim lesbian with learning difficulties, actually. I don't work for the council, I'm not HIV+ and I'm not bullshitting either. |
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Gravy Hole
Rank: Oddie |
Birmingham City Council is shit
replied on: 7/8/2008 12:02:43 PM I've tried to find an old thread of a screenplay by Peaky about Albert Bore ranting in his bunker. I can't be bothered to look further so this one will have to do. I was put in mind of it when I heard that miniature heterosexual sofa-leaping scientologist Tom Cruise was making a film about the plot to blow up Adolf Hitler, where he playes von Stauffenberg. Peaky never finished the story, it was left open and I for one regret it. Here is what I am guessing the climactic finale could have been like: Scene: Bore's luxury paedo boudoir Stauffenberg [Peakyblinder]: "I'm gonna blow that goddamn terrorist Albert Bore to kingdom come, hell yessir." Carl Chinn [Kevin Spacey]: "Ooh, you are awful!" They fight. Chinn is impaled on a spear held by a suit of armour that has been positioned so that it looks like it is goose-stepping. Stauffenberg: "Let off some steam, Chinn." Scene: The dining room Bore [Bruno Ganz]: "This kitten flambé is delicious. My compliments to the chef." Stauffenberg: "You can compliment him yourself...IN HELL!" Bore: "You!" They fight. Stauffenberg forces Bore to swallow the booby-trapped briefcase, which explodes, killing him. All that is left is a moustache. Stauffenberg: "Let off some steam, Bore." Scene: Aboard the USS Nimitz, anchored in Gas Street Basin Churchill [Samuel L. Jackson]: "You've saved England from those muthafucking British unlawful combatants and their terror. I award you the Congressional Medal Of Honour, dog." Stauffenberg: "I couldn't have done it without Xenu." Vera Lynn [Beyonce Knowles]: "I love you, Staffy!" Stauffenberg and Vera Lynn kiss. Churchill: "Now that's what I call extraordinary rendition!" Stalin [ArielNH350]: "I believe he's attempting re-entry!" They laugh. THE END I'm sure the Cruise film will be very similar to this, and if I'm wrong I'll eat my bat. But I know I won’t be wrong. |
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