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iDrink	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him posted on: 10/24/2005 8:23:05 PM Anyone remember him? Used to push a pram/shopping trolley full of petrol-doused(?), filthy rags? I know you all do. He died some years back, pneumonia I believe, but I see no reason to let a legend like that slip to the back of our 90's addled brains. So, without further ado I will present the following tales. One chilly Christmas Eve he was outside Sophies Choice (cotterdige, of sex lives of the potato men fame) throwing half bricks at passing cars. How we laughed. Back in 97-ish, at the 45 Bus stop (again, Cotteridge) Arthur was handed a bag of assorted foodstuffs by a random do-gooder. He tucked into the scran with gusto and quickly demolished one the sandwiches and a sausage roll. But, alas, he found himself displeased with the ginger beer, which he promptly disposed of -launching it instantly into the midday traffic was obviously the way to play it. A disgusted business-type sneered at this all-to-familiar scene, muttering something to the effect of "filthy animal" only to be met with Arthurs ruddy-nosed menace. Quick as a flash, he fired the remaining sarnie onto the back of his opponents well-tailored suit jacket, leaving a mayo & lettuce smear, followed up with a volley of growling insults which sent foe fleeing from the scene. He then went into what can only be described as a primal rage, and emptied a bag of walkers Prawn Cocktail over the bemused/startled public at the Bus Stop before gathering his trappings and plodded down towards the Green. How I laughed from the safety of my bike. Arthur is far and away one of my favorite Brummies. So, how far afield had YOU spotted Arthur? Did you ever see him freak out and and ruin someones shit? Let me know.
Barriminge Rank: Jasper	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/24/2005 8:45:43 PM I had to ask BOFTY Bad Boy Mitton about this and he remembers him well.He was always around town in the 70s and then disappeared and then he says he saw him in the Cotteridge area.He remembers seeing him outside Yates Wine Lodge circa '77 finding some dropped raw carrots in the street and hungrily demolishing them. He vividly remembers some passing bod muttering how this should be going on 'in this day and age'! Great stuff...
iDrink	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/24/2005 10:42:18 PM So our crafty meanderer had a thing for lurking around pretentious wine 'lodges' did he? The sly old soak. I wonder if we joined up all the sightings of Arthur on a map of birmingham, dot-to-dot style, would we perhaps get an image of our perambulating pal, hurling things at us from beyond the grave? Watch this space...
Barriminge Rank: Jasper	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/25/2005 4:39:18 PM quote: So our crafty meanderer had a thing for lurking around pretentious wine 'lodges' did he? The sly old soak. I wonder if we joined up all the sightings of Arthur on a map of birmingham, dot-to-dot style, would we perhaps get an image of our perambulating pal, hurling things at us from beyond the grave? Watch this space... Are you sure that you've heard of Yates' Wine Lodge? A rather large multi-floored establishnet in Corporation St.that was strictly for the urban proletariat.A truly legendary place. Or does this signify some kind of generation gap.Charlie says he spent a large part of his life alternating between there The Windsor, The Greyhound and The Tavern in the Town.Halcyon Days! It was there before 'wine bars' and the fuel that it sold such as Aussie White and Tarragona Red required guts like incinerators.Charlie says he don't remember Arthur drinking there but he was always somewhere around town hustling for grub.A good old fashined character of the road.Unfortuneately now replaced by a different type of flotsam and jetsam - the - the glue sniffing junkie type who is always asking if you 'can spare some change please'. Oh for the days when it was sixpence for a cuppa.
Ariel HS	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/25/2005 5:23:29 PM Yates was a legend, As well as sweet South African Sherry the sold Portuguese Sardines with Chili Peppers in the tin. The brand name was "Nuri" It was quite common to watch someone eating fish from the can with their fingers whilst they got pissed. They also sold packs of tea but I never liked tea overmuch so I never bothered. Yates was founded in Liverpool as an alternative to the gin palaces. The idea was to bring civilized drink like wines to the working man and keep them sober. The experiment alas failed (Bad boy is a monument to this lack of success). As you passed through the door there was the company motto above your head "Moderation is True Temperance".
m8e Rank: Ozzy	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/25/2005 9:38:17 PM quote: The idea was to bring civilized drink like wines to the working man and keep them sober. The experiment alas failed (Bad boy is a monument to this lack of success). Not quite, Ariel. Charlie is not, and never has been, a working man.
iDrink	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/26/2005 9:15:50 AM Could be, could be. My experiences with Yates' were in Maidstone and in Straford. From the general decor and smug attitude of the barstaff, I concluded that it was a pretentious chain (possibly slipped from grace over the years) trying to make something more of itself than was apparent. I'll happily stand corrected, though, not having visited Birminghams. The vagrant I really hate is that guy with the curly hair and beard who looks a bit like a skagged up, younger Bill Oddie. He carries a can of lighter gas up his sleeve, pausing his social harrasment only to huff himself into a much more purple state. The twat. But he's like my nemesis, wherver I go he's there, bothering me for spare change, like I carry money that I'm never going to spend. I was on the phone outside a pub once, having an argument with someone, and he's straight into me, trying to interrupt my shouting to ask for some cash, the tenacious fool! I nearly chinned him on the spot, but he looked too dirty and I have this thing about having clean hands...
m8e Rank: Ozzy	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/26/2005 9:57:33 AM Indeed. All the real quality tramps seem to have disappeared. Where once there were characterful, ruddy-faced knights (and ladies) of the road, it's now all hollow-eyed heroin chic and hoodies. Maybe what's needed is a BiNS-led Campaign for Real Tramps.
Gravy Hole Rank: Oddie This message was updated on 10/26/2005 1:35:39 PM by Gravy Hole	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/26/2005 11:39:27 AM I too bewail the passing of real tramps. They're just not the same anymore, not as much fun. In their defence, in these enlightened and politically correct times, as a nation we seem rather to have forgotten how to encourage their goofball behaviour. It wasn't always thus. Once in the mid-eighties, one of my pals, who shall remain nameless (Steve I think it was) sparked up some repartee with a tramp, who I think may have been called Dennis. To be fair, I think Dennis was a ham sandwich (as well as a thermos, yoghurt, scotch egg, hamper, tartan blanket and all the cutlery) short of a picnic, but he was very smartly turned out, from afar at least, and this gave him an uncertain air of respectability. He also had the best set of facial tics I've ever seen. Within the space of a few seconds his eyebrows would be flying all over his forehead, each eye would bulge alternately and he'd sort of cluck his tongue while the corners of his mouth did a little dance. All would then go quiet for a minute and just as you'd begun to think that you'd imagined it, then he'd be off again. Steve was a seasoned loony spotter and was over like a shot as soon as he hove into view. Bear in mind, what follows was on a monday lunchtime on St Phil's Square. They soon struck up a lively conversation. To be honest, it wasn't clear to anyone listening exactly what language Dennis had mastered. Perhaps it was one of those dying languages we're always reading about. Steve seemed to be taking it all in his stride and pretty soon had dropped his trousers and convinced Dennis to do the same. The two of them then bunny-hopped through the shoppers and across the square, towards Rackham's I think. Steve was one of the funniest people I've ever met. He had a marvellous talent for juggling his bollocks and like Dennis's eyebrows you just didn't know where they would pop up next. I tell you, one night he had a crowd mesmerised in The Windsor. Think of an act that crosses the rabbit/top hat trick with the disappearing pea under up-turned beakers trick and you're on the right track. I'm sure he produced one out of his breast pocket at one stage. Simultaneously he had a bollock on each side of his head rolling forward over each ear. I know it sounds impossible, but surprise was amongst his weaponry and who knows what we really saw that magical night.
iDrink	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/26/2005 5:14:34 PM quote: Maybe what's needed is a BiNS-led Campaign for Real Tramps. For sure. I am pretty handy with photoshop, does anyone have access to some printing gear? I'd be happy to do some flyering/posting. Gravy, more of this Steve chap, can we see him live? Only, I have a pal named steve who possibly has the largest testicles known to man and frequently whips 'em out. Maybe we could have some kind of Steve-off?
Gravy Hole Rank: Oddie This message was updated on 10/27/2005 9:43:42 AM by Gravy Hole	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/27/2005 9:41:07 AM I haven't seen him in ten years mate, but I'm sure he'll still be knocking around West Brom somewhere. He's the only person I've ever seen slip over on a banana skin, coming out of the Trocadero as it happens. If it's distended testes you want, I'm afraid I'd have to refer you to a mate in Newcastle who got hit in the nads by a cricket ball. Believe me, the swelling was quite breathtaking, although regretably only in the lefthand cobbler. I would say it was approximately the same size as that found on the average ram. He could pull it up out of the front of his trousers and let it dangle there like a giant onion. He's recently had an operation to diminish the comic effect, and it's somewhat shrunk in dimensions, but it can still raise a titter at cocktail parties, Rotary Club meetings etc.
iDrink	Arthur the Trolley Tramp (You know you loved him replied on: 10/29/2005 5:35:20 PM Quality. I nearly slipped on a banana skin once, but I avoid comic cliche's like rape and sheer will power kept me upright. Can we get a pic of ol' rugby sack from Newcastle?
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