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WVUFan Quote \| Reply \| This message was updated on 7/28/2007 1:04:52 PM by WVUFan	Hi! A sample posted on: 7/24/2007 6:11:38 PM Hi! I'm a writer, and as any craft, you need to practice every day. For me, it's a release; a way to let the stress go from a long day at work. I'm also a fan of role-playing games, and it goes back to the writing, as the good sessions tell a interesting tale with distinct characters. Sometimes when a session is up I try to put the session into a story and see how well it flows. Currently I'm in a game using a system called "Mutants and Masterminds: Hero High" which is a generic Super Heroes game which takes quite a bit of inspiration from the X-Men. I thought I'd try converting the sessions into a story, and since it's a super-hero setting, why not into a comic strip? I'd love input. Some background: The game takes place in the "Claremont Academy" which is a "secret" school where kids with budding powers go to learn how to use them (told you about the inspiration from the X-Men), and the story is about 4 kids and their adventures in the school. The story is what the Gamemaster calls a "four color" story, in that it's more in lines with a comic from the 80's -- not a lot of deaths and more BANG! POW! ish than the modern day realism. I've posted the first two pages to see if how I'm writing makes sense from an artist's perspective and what I can do to clarify/improve the script work. Sorry for the formatting. ------------------------------------------- PAGE ONE ------------------- Four Panels. -- Panel One -- Ground-level shot looking up at the gates to the Claremont Academy. It is mid-day and the sun gleams of the shiny metal gates, which are partially open. We also see several kids, mostly young 14-15ish year old teenagers of various types making their way past the gates. CAPTION Hi. Welcome to the Claremont Academy, home and training area for budding superheroes. CAPTION I know what you're thinking. It's not THAT Academy. This is a Different universe, a lot like the one you're thinking of, but just a little ... off. There are some similarities, though. -- Panel Two -- We see a black limo has pulled up to the curb, and DORIAN WINCHESTER, a very skinny, lanky boy has emerged from the car. He looks like a typical "rebellious" teenager, only he's a little too skinny, and his arms are a little long for his body size. He wears a Marilyn Manson t-shirt, and his black hair falls just over his eyes. He looks like he's angry to be left here. CAPTION For example, if you have powers, this is the secret place you would go to learn to hone them for the betterment of man-kind. It's a "secret", though, to prevent some bad guy for targeting us. CAPTION Doesn't mean it's a well-kept secret, though. CAPTION Anyway, this is Dorian. -- Panel Three -- Dorian has gotten two suitcases out of the back of the limo, and the heavily shaded window of the car is slightly down, as Dorian is handed an envelope from the unseen person within. CAPTION He's Irish. -- Panel Four -- The window has shut and the car is speeding away as Dorian turns toward the school. A group of two kids are looking at his, which Dorian notices. He looks at the kids angrily. DORIAN What the &^#& are you lookin' at, you &^&@#^ &^&#&#? CAPTION Dorian has issues. Chase says he has anger issues, but I think it's deeper than that. CAPTION We'll get to Chase in a sec, though. Don't rush me. ---------------- PAGE TWO ---------------- Four Panels --- Panel One --- We see Dorian, still berating the two kids, his mouth unusually big as he talks in the background. We see in the foreground a giant of a boy, 6’4” and over 300 pounds of pure muscle. This is HERMAN BERGSTAG, who has emerged from a taxi and is paying the taxi driver in Euros. CAPTION This is Herman. I have no idea what his last name is. I don’t think I’ve ever been told. DRIVER I don’t take these. American money, kid. --- Panel Two --- Herman, who is looking completely scared out of his wits, carries two huge duffelbags over his shoulders, has given the driver the correct money, and looks toward the gates. HERMAN Sorry. CAPTION Herman is one of the nicest people I had ever met when he first came here. CAPTION He’s German. --- Panel Three --- We still see DORIAN in the background, still screaming and yelling at kids who stare at him, which, of course, causes more children to cultivate. Herman, still with a scared “what did I get myself into” look on his face, seemingly ignores DORIAN and the crowd that gathers to watch him. CAPTION You know how these things go … heroes like Herman wind up with deep, dark secrets that leads to overarching stories involving their backstory. CAPTION Not Herman. He’s a shy, naïve, innocent guy who gets caught up in something he’s wasn’t ready for. DORIAN (in smaller text) What the &^%(, do I look like a side &(&@&# show? --- Panel Four --- HERMAN walks right by DORIAN and his cussing fit, and also by a short, brown haired boy, CHASE GOODMAN, who is being kissed on the forehead by his mother. CHASE looks embarrassed, as any kid would, as the public display of affection CAPTION Well, I don’t THINK he has any dark secrets. He’s not very talkative. CHASE Stop it mom, people are watching … CAPTION(near Chase’s part of the panel) CHASE, on the other hand isn’t capable of keeping secrets.
Nar! Nar Comic Underworld Live To Rock! Quote \| Reply \| This message was updated on 7/26/2007 11:14:57 PM by Nar!	Hi! A sample replied on: 7/24/2007 7:50:22 PM Someone should try drawing this up. It would be much easier and an effective way to say what was difficult to work with in terms of the script itself. Welcome btw! EDIT: I dont have time now but I actually wanted to lay this out myself just to see what came out of it. Since its only a page, it's a neat challenge to take on during breaks. If I can, I'll try to handle this.
WVUFan Quote \| Reply \|	Hi! A sample replied on: 7/28/2007 1:04:12 PM Thanks for the reply! For what it's worth, the sample I posted is two pages, 4 panels per page.

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