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| Author | Message / Information |
| lil redhellion | Get the ball rolling posted on: 8/26/2003 2:53:09 AM Just thought I would get the ball rolling for you guys -lol- The relationship how beautiful it is! How easily damaged, or weighed dowm with irrelevancies. The first part of every relationship is pure. And then the relationship changes, it becomes complicated, encumbered by its contact with the world. It is true, of course, the original relationship is very beautiful. Like its parallel in physical passion but the early stage of a relationship cannot continue always at the same pitch of intensity. It moves to another phase of growth. There is an accumulation, a coating of false values, habbits, and burdens which blight life! and thus becomming a smothering coat and soon you miss something of the early relationship, there are great differences in your needs. The temptation is to blame the situation on the other person and to accept the easy solution that a new and more understanding partner will solve everything by another relationship which seems easier because it is in an eariler stage. But can you actually find yourself in someone else? Obviously some relationships can never be recovered. In their changing roles the two partners may have grown in different directions or at different rates of speed. In a relationship, however, the original essence is not lost but merely buried under the impediments of life. A friend of mine once said, "There is no one and only, there are just one and only moments." The one and only moments are justified. All these moments of together - aloneness are valid, but not permanent. I have come to realize that there is no permanent pure relationships and there should not be. The pure relationship is limited, in space and in time. In its essence it implies exclusion. It excludes the rest of life, other relationships, other responsibilites, other possibilties in the future. I have learned to accept the fact that no permanent return is possible, that there is no holding of a relationship to a single form. All living relationships are in the process of change. Duration is not a test of true and false. It is on another plane, judged by other standards. It relates to the actual moment in time and place. Like my life at the moment, it is untidy, spread out in all directions. Love does not consist of gazing at eachother but looking outward in the same direction. Perhaps you can shed at this stage, your pride, your false ambitions, your mask, your armor. Was that armor not put on to protect you from the competitive world? To learn how to stand alone, I must learn not to depend on another, nor to feel I must prove my strength by competing. I must become whole. World to myself for anothers sake. These brife experiences give me insight into what a new relation might be. Why is it so difficult? What makes us hesitate and stumble? It is fear, I think, that makes you cling to the last moment or clutch greedily towards the next. But when the heart is flooded with love there is no room in it for fear, for doubt, for hesitation. When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility, it is even a lie to pretend to. We have so little faith in the flow of life, of love, of relationships. Intermittency - an impossible lesson for human beings to learn. Only in space are events and objects and people unique and significant - and therefore beautiful. We tend not to choose the unknown which might be a shock or a disappointment or simply a little difficult to cope with. And yet it is the unknown with all its disappointments and surprises that it is the most enriching. |
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ladies78
Someone who cares |
Get the ball rolling
replied on: 8/26/2003 8:41:16 PM true...i like how you pointed out that the true relationship does not go away it is just buried underneath...that is why so many times people break up and get back together because their love resurfaces |
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lil redhellion
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Get the ball rolling
replied on: 8/27/2003 7:17:51 AM nods and smiles....I think if you truely love someone and I mean love them, that love will never die, but love does change its a constant thing always moving and changing into something else.. but you are responsilble in what that love becomes. |
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ladies78
Someone who cares |
Get the ball rolling
replied on: 8/28/2003 5:18:41 PM responsible in the fact that you cannot just lay it by thw wasteside expect something to happen |
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lil redhellion
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Get the ball rolling
replied on: 9/1/2003 4:19:19 AM Well I believe in most relationships there will always be one that carries the heavier load, giving more then taking, being there when the other is not. That tends to happen alot but the rolls do change. So it is not just only one doing all the work to make the relationship work and if it is then perhaps one should step back and have a real look at where things will be leading to. But if it all ends up equal in the long or even short run of things and the two have made it through, then it is safe to assume that their relationship is strong and just maybe it will make it through. |
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